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| Treat yourself to a coffee then smile and thank the server--it is the little things that count. |
Luke 10:27
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with
all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your
neighbor as yourself.”
The
week before preaching on the Good Samaritan this past Sunday I witnessed an
event that hit a nerve in a way that I knew I was going to write about it. Later like most of you I was focused on
Trayvon Martin and the trial concerning the tragic loss of his life.
I
am still going to write about this incident that may seem so small in
comparison to recent events but in a way is really the beginning of how easy it
is to stray from loving our neighbor as ourselves.
I was at Dunkin' Donuts standing
in line behind a man being waited on by a regular server. The store was crowded, it was hot and all the
employees were at full steam. The man asked for an ice tea and a coffee, the
server asked if he wanted iced or hot coffee. The man looked at her
sarcastically and said "I don't understand you." At first I thought he couldn't hear her
though his tone was offensive, she thought the same and repeated herself this
time holding up an ice coffee cup and a hot coffee cup. "Hot!" he responded thoroughly annoyed. At this point I was thinking what is
happening; did I miss something? His
order isn't wrong, she is being polite and he has a line of witnesses. The server remained cool and said "Oh
well we have both so I was just making sure." He replied "If I wanted iced I would
have asked for it!" And then he
looked down the line with a look that said "Can you believe
her?" Since we live in a small town
and most of the people in line live in this town the looks he received in
return said "Knock it off."
The deflation in his stance was evident.
What amazed me was how the server never flinched she never gave in to
his behavior and she never changed her own to match his.
Why would a man think he could treat
someone this way and how long had he been allowed to do so? Was this the way he treated those close to
him, his own wife, daughter, niece, or granddaughter? Was this the way he had been treated? Did he love himself this very same way,
expecting only criticism and disrespect?
How
can we possibly love others well if we do not love ourselves well? Philip Zimbardo a sociologist who did
experiments based on the Good Samaritan rule and human behavior saw that simple
acts of not helping our neighbor can escalate to group acts of hate, basically
that even good people will follow crowd behavior they do not agree with- but in
that same vein once one person stands up and crosses the road to help their
neighbor others will follow. Maybe the
reason the server could maintain her cool was because she saw the line behind
this man, this line of people that were really behind her. I assume my face
showed the same reaction as others "He says one more thing and I will step
up." It is what he saw as well when
he turned for support for his behavior.
It is what he saw when he walked out alone.
I
remember thinking as I walked away, I wonder if he has a "group" a
place where he feels whole, a place where he knows others stand behind
him. That place for me is church. This is the place where I am tested to love
myself and others publicly.
So
as usual I have gone all the way around the Mulberry bush but on this day in
response to all that we are feeling and as we react to all of the questions
this incident has raised. I pray that we all may have a “love line", whether it be a faith community, a family, a group large or small that gives
us the courage and grace to be our best selves even on our darkest night.”
