On this day...

Taken this day from my porch while wearing flannel P.J.s --it was  only 4 degrees out!

I can remember the last days of my pregnancy with our oldest daughter, 27 years ago, reading a book that had a line in it I never forgot.  Now mind you this is not a life changing Ann Lamont type of revelation or ah ha moment, it was just a thought that I kept mulling over and hence remembered.  A mother said to her adult daughter something to the effect of "a proper lady never does in private anything that she wouldn't do in public".  Hmmm is that possible?

            Not only is it possible, but is it a good thing?  Maybe embarrassing moments would be absent from her life but how boring would her life be?  I mean really picture your best idea of a lazy day at home....you there?  Now picture not doing anything you wouldn't do in public.  No licking the peanut butter knife, no walking the dog in pajama pants, no ...well I will let you fill in the rest.

            I much prefer the lines of Psalm 19:14:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

            Not perfect, not ideal, not false, but acceptable.  Ahhh sweet relief!  Whether I am alone or in public let my thoughts and let my words be acceptable to you oh Lord. The best part of this scripture, this prayer, is the word "my".  My words, my Lord, that means what is acceptable to God for me may be very different for you. It means the words and meditations of my 14 year old, 25 year old self are different than what is acceptable at 50.  It means the words of a person struggling with addiction, divorce, tragedy, grief, loss are different than the words and meditations of a person who has traveled through these events. 

            My words and my meditations grow and change as I grow and change in my relationship with God.  When I taught Head Start I had a parent talk about wanting to go to church but she had some changes to make first.  I remember telling her the changes come after we start our relationship with God. 

            God meets us exactly where we are at any time...Oh Lord on this day, may the words I speak on this day---the words I speak to others and to myself be acceptable, given what you know about this day.  Oh Lord may the meditations of my heart, what I think about others, the world and myself be acceptable, given what you know about this day.

            Lord may you privately and publicly enter my mouth, and heart.  I think I prefer this line of thinking to the story I read so long ago.  I think God would find at the end of a long week walking my dog in pajama pants while licking the peanut butter off a knife very acceptable!  

            After all our private meditations, struggles and celebrations are what guide our words not out obligation but out of the grace we know and in love